I'm once again on a plane on my way home. I'm surprising mom for her 60th birthday. It's going to be awesome! I've been horrible at writing and so much has happened. Carlitos went home with his grandparents and I just got word a couple days ago that Jhon and Dome have been assigned to a family! I am so happy for them! They could be gone before I get back which makes me sad but I will be so excited for them!
Once we landed in Atlanta, anxiety took over my body. I didn't like hearing English be spoken. The airport was busy with tons of people. The calmness and peace Cuenca would bring is gone. I don't want to be here. I went through customs and they want to know where you're going, what you're doing, what you bought, how much alcohol did you buy, etc. I know they were doing their job but I felt threatened to come back into my own country. Then the security... you may as well just get naked. It's all routine, I know, but I didn't like it. I like Ecuador where you keep your shoes on and can carry your own water bottle onto the plane.
I'm nervous about being home. So many people and the craziness that is everywhere you go. I'm nervous to drive again. What a luxury a taxi has been! I'm not ready for my nieces and nephews to fight. Our children rarely ever fight. Questions family will ask but they won't understand. I don't even know how to act with friends. What are we even suppose to talk about? They will have no idea nor will comprehend my lifestyle. I don't even want to try to explain it to them. I already miss the kids! I just don't like the way I'm feeling right now. Maybe coming home in between my service wasn't such a great idea. Ahh! I don't know! I'm just nervous and feeling anxious about being home and living a day without those kids. Will I even be leaving in January? I can only imagine how I'll be feeling then...
